Is this relationship really over? Is the separation inevitable? Is considering divorce just giving up? These are some of the toughest questions we face inside a very disappointing stage of a relationship. And ones we should be able to answer for ourselves.
Things may have started going downhill in a very unexpected way. Or they are degenerating yet once again.
You have no clue to what your next step should be.
Shock. Denial. Numbness.
You may be paralyzed.
Confused.
Hopeless.
Will the decision of your next move be your choice, or will you wait for your partner or somebody else to make it for you?
Amid the doubts, fear, and pain what you want most is clarity.
And while clarity makes its way to you, it is a wild, anxious ride.
The not knowing can seem unbearable. Sleepless nights of wondering. Of playing out the worst.
In the face of feeling lost, confused and desperate, seeking wisdom in somebody else’s story and experiences can certainly be helpful. Friends and family may mean well and offer to pass you their best advice. Others may straight out order you the game plan.
Solicited and unsolicited advice may flourish everywhere. Maybe adding to the confusion and feeding your paralysis. Maybe pressuring you in ways that only serve someone else’s beliefs and needs.
At a vulnerable an uncertain time like this one, it is important to keep yourself from giving your power away.
The fact is there is no substitute for being able to discover what is right, authentic and true to you.
Being able to discover the answers that are right for you is priceless.
Especially, answers that come from within you.
And is that really possible, you may ask? I sure think it is.
I have been there and can still remember what having the clarity to make the right choice for me feels like:
It is a knowing.
It is grounded.
You can breathe through it.
You can walk firmly when you embody it.
You may even smile as you savor it.
It is enveloped in deep gratitude.
Somebody else’s advice, while good for them, may not necessarily get you there.
Consequently, whatever support you receive at a this time of intense emotions, be sure that is one that provides clarity and leads you to stay true to yourself.
There is great power in being supported and seen by someone who can guide you connect with the inner truth that will give you the confidence to take the right next steps. I can say from my years of experience working with clients as a Conscious Uncoupling Coach*, that this type of support does exist. By no means you need to do this alone.
Keep in mind that you are the one who has to live with the consequence of your choices. Make certain they were a product of a real exploration of the truest parts of you.
To end it or not to end it? Ensure that your answer is the one that comes from within.
*Conscious Uncoupling™ is a powerful program that offers the practical tools and skills you’ll need to navigate the tender transition of a romantic union in a healthy and humane way. If you are interested in learning about my offerings as a Conscious Uncoupling Coach, you are welcome to contact me.
Isandra is Transformative Educator and Coach specializing in helping clients attract Authentic Love, develop Healthy Money Dynamics, and achieve a Conscious Separation and Divorce. A former lawyer, Isandra has spent the last decade guiding people to have better relationships with themselves, with others- and yes, with their money too! A lifelong learner, she is always ready to explore new ways of cocreating a happy, healthy, loving world.