You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever, because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference. –Steve Jobs I MARVEL There was no way that as a little girl, or even a teen growing up in the 80’s, I could have dreamt of serving the world as a Transformational Teacher and Relationship Coach. I always wanted to be a teacher and chose to be a lawyer instead. It seemed to be the best way to support families’ wellbeing during difficult times, including divorce. I had no idea that my memorable years as a lawyer were just the beginning. Nor that teaching …
A Letter to Those Seeking Clarity and Support as a Relationship Comes to an End
For a decade, I have belonged to a body of work that is constantly impacting our world in beautiful ways: Transformative Relationship Coaching. My brilliant teacher and mentor, Katherine Woodward Thomas, my admirable colleagues, and I are continuously engaged in serving clients and students in ways that bring forth more authentic love into the world. I am usually at a loss of words regarding how happy, grateful, and blessed I feel to belong to this tribe. Today is no exception. Recently, we were asked to update our bios for the Conscious Uncoupling Coaches Directories. For me, it is usually a daunting task to use the limited allotted word count to include credentials plus a clear message of what is possible. It is really hard to restrain myself when the words just want to emerge and flow. This time, I decided to begin the process by avoiding to restrain myself. Instead, I chose to begin by writing an open letter to …
Is It Really Time for a Separation or Divorce? The Answer Lies Within
Is this relationship really over? Is the separation inevitable? Is considering divorce just giving up? These are some of the toughest questions we face inside a very disappointing stage of a relationship. And ones we should be able to answer for ourselves. Things may have started going downhill in a very unexpected way. Or they are degenerating yet once again. You have no clue to what your next step should be. Shock. Denial. Numbness. You may be paralyzed. Confused. Hopeless. Will the decision of your next move be your choice, or will you wait for your partner or somebody else to make it for you? Amid the doubts, fear, and pain what you want most is clarity. And while clarity makes its way to you, it is a wild, anxious ride. The not knowing can seem unbearable. Sleepless nights of wondering. Of playing out the worst. In the face of feeling lost, confused and desperate, seeking wisdom in somebody else’s story …
Establishing Healthy Boundaries When Parting Ways
It is never too late to begin establishing healthy boundaries. Even when you are going through a breakup, separation or divorce. In a Conscious Uncoupling, there is great interest in the relationship that will be created after the coupling is complete In the best of cases, the next chapter can look like a cordial distance or a genuine friendship. It can also be an effective co-parenting or whatever the former couple is willing to explore. The success of a relationship transition will require establishing limits that will allow each person to move forward as desired Of course, this will also need for each to be willing to respect what the other person is requesting. Without this, the health of the emerging relationship could be at stake. As I share with my clients, if establishing healthy boundaries inside your relationship was never your forte, this might be your opportunity for growth. With this in mind, you may want to …
The Ongoing Relationship of Self-Love
Puedes leerlo en ESPAÑOL As with any other highly challenging life experience, a health or death scare is a wake-up call that has its gifts. A reality check on how to reshuffle priorities. A call to live life meaningfully and to the fullest. For me, it has also included revisiting the relationship with myself. Allowing self-love to take center stage and being more mindful of using my time and energy to fulfill my life’s mission. I am happy to say that I am not “sick” or expect to be on the verge of death at the moment. However, at the end of the year, I lived through some very unusual combined health experiences that took over my life for several weeks. In the process, the big topics definitely showed up. And yes, I even had a brief version of the “If I die now” talk with each of my children. Thank heavens, all sort of miracles manifested at the right …